You all everybody, it’s VJM!
*Scottish* Hello, faithful viewer! */Scottish* I mean… Howdy, faithful reader! Isn’t that such a cool title? Sounds all deep, and junk? Something that I’ve noticed is that I have about five different personality sets used in different settings. They are (in a very specific order) as follows:
1) Me at home
2) Me at school
3) Me at work
4) Me at church
We’ll get to the fifth one later.
Now, I said that they were in a very specific order, right? Well, they are ordered as a scale. They are ordered from Boring (1) to Energetic (4). But, more accurately, they are ordered from what I enjoy the least, to what I enjoy the most.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I enjoy being at home (1). That’s where my stuff is, it’s where I sleep, and it’s where I get food. But, if I were to take a step back, away out of my body, and look at that life? It would stand in stark contrast with (4). I spend most of the day in my room, messing around with video games and watching tv. There are times I’ll spend hours on end siting in that chair. Hours just flying spaceships, shooting monsters, sweeping mines, and basically just turning my brain off and shutting out the world. No one in my family has conversations, no one eats together, and everyone is possessive of their little corner of the fridge. The closest thing to a conversation recently was when my grandma was arguing with my uncle as to who finished the jug of milk, and whose job it was to buy a new one. It also doesn’t help that I don’t really have my own room. My room at my grandparents house is actually my aunts room (she lives in Vancouver now), and my room at my parents house is now my mom’s office. The former is full of shiny sequined gowns, shelves of European music books, and old sound equipment. The latter is an office because “it’s the only room with a free phone jack”. As I have two half-rooms, my stuff is spread out more or less evenly (but not equaly) between them. Also, my grandparents house doesn’t have an Internet, so I’m basically cut off from the outside world. In short, it doesn’t have the social aspect or the energy I look for.
At school it’s a little better. Being around people my age, talking to people I know, expanding my mind; it’s stuff to do. But I spend most of my time there sitting on a bench, typing away on my iPod. Checking my email, reading blogs, checking my email again. The fact that it has Internet is tempered by the hour long commute time. It has a bit more people, and I’m out of the house, but it all seems a bit shallow.
Work kicks thing up a notch. There are coworkers and customers and I need to keep supplies stocked. It’s almost like a game. Keep the customers happy, refil the strawberry, make a burger, make sure the boss doesn’t see you eat the food… Highscore! I make cones that look just like in the picture, I spin from grill to microwave and back in time with the radio; I get to vent my high-energy, and the customers see it as me being into my job. And I get paid! But, ay, there’s the rub. I’ve hardly ever seen my paycheck. Because, the thing is, my mom takes it and puts it into my bank account. Always. My bank account to which she keeps the card, and I can’t touch. Basically, it’s the opposite of an allowance; I’m volunteering at my job. Plus, working in fast food isn’t really that exciting or limit pushing. So, bottom line is, I’m under motivated and I’m not learning anything.
Ah, number 4. I live for Friday nights (and Sunday, but mostly Friday). Church! Youth group! The place I run and jump and sprint and learn and talk and laugh. The place where I have a bit authority. The place where my friends are. The place where I know mostly everyone. The place where I can run for no reason. The place where I have some residual power from my term in SLC. The place where I don’t run the risk of making someone angry, getting kicked out of school, or losing my job. The place where I know the rules and how to play the game. And, be honest, it was weird that week I sat comatose on the floor for an hour, right? Exactly.
I remember this one time, back in Kairos, we had just taken a Spiritual Gifts test and were putting a dash on the board beside the one we had the highest to see which had the most. One person would get one of the two markers, go up, put the dash down, walk back to their seat, hand the marker over, and so on. After about three minutes of this and having barely finished a quarter of the people, one of the advisors asked people to pick up the pace. I leaped into action. Standing up out of my chair, I said to the kids “Alright, let’s all go up to the board [and line up so this’ll go faster]”. I went up to the board and stood a few feet away. No one had followed me. I simply looked over my shoulder and said in my most The Doctor-ish voice “Well, come on!” Right away, the remaining people all got up and fell into step. I never knew I had that much clout to throw around. That wouldn’t happen at home.
Or this other time when Kairos was supposed to be practicing for Parent Appreciation Night, no one knew how to form groups because it was the same night as the RCS Wizard of Oz play and no one was sure who would be attending. After twenty (20!!) minutes of people screwing around, I decided to take charge. I pulled out my whistle, stood at a music stand, pointed at corners, and with much shouting, organized three presentations that, when you think about it, went pretty well.
Basically, lots of people, lots of talking, lots of energy.
And that brings me to number 5.
5) Psychiatrist Justin
If you’re reading this, I’ve probably gone all Psychiatrist Justin on you before. It’s when I stop jumping around, stop shouting and running, and give you advice (with a disclaimer that I have no idea what I’m doing). It’s when you ask me a deep or serious question, and I try and help. Whether it’s analysing a dream, unlocking secrets of the universe, or, just verbalizing motivation. I admit it’s rarely high energy, and always one-on-one (I almost refuse doing it over the web), but it does have another aspect.
I’m being helpful.
And I like that.
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Tomorrow’s Topic:
My Awesome Photography
Done day twelve / Five short elves