Vague JMMPOP Mission: Day 41 —[Day 41]–

So, faithful readers, I did it. One (or more) post a day from start to finish. A fact which means that we have reached the end of our little adventure. And what have we learned in that time?

Well, I learned that I could do it, for one thing. I learned that writing a couple paragraphs of text each day (or at least the equivalent of that), is something I could do. I learned that I should write down all my ideas the second I think them (Fun Fact: I came up with almost ALL of the topics I talked about in a brain wave right after I was enlisted). I learned that I tend to take a long time to say something, since many of my long posts were intended to be one-off paragraphs. I learned that ‘sorrow sells’ (Fun Fact: Pessimistic Post #1 broke the record for most one day views). I learned that a loose but structured list of topics is the way for me to go (tying back to the whole ‘write things down’ thing). I learned that coming up with things that rhymed with the numbers 1-40 is a very very hard thing to do. And so is coming up with unique and clever one-liners to introduce myself and are also vaguely related to the previous one. I learned that sometimes it’s okay to push something back another day. I learned a lot of things about myself that I couldn’t have learned without vocalizing (or at least verbalizing) them. I learned that I’ll agree to join in on almost anything at the drop of a hat. I learned that I learned that the Post Scheduling feature on WordPress is a very very nifty (and useful) thing.

I also learned that sometimes being under equipped might not always matter as long as you’re resourseful. You see, my life is split between two houses, my family is insane, and my penmanship is awful. I haven’t seen the girl I like in over half a year, my room is a mess and, more importantly, I don’t have access to the Internet; yet I was able to keep up with the whole one-post-a-day.

So, debrief time! How’d y’all do?

Me? I’m not done yet. There’s still a few things qued up in the pipe; Animorphs, my conspiracy theory around NaNoWriMo, perhaps a review of my Christmas loot, and so on. But for the next few days I’ll probably take a little break. Maybe watch some tv, work on some of my writing.

It’s been an adventure, faithful readers. Quite the learning experience. Would I do it again? Probably. Just, maybe not for a while.

‘Cause till then, I’m free.

Vague JMMPOP Mission: Day 4o —[Day 4o]–

Merry Christmas everybody.

___
Tomorrow’s Topic:
Day 41

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Twelve drummers drumming
Eleven pipers piping
Ten lords a-leaping
Nine ladies dancing
Eight maids a-milkin’
Seven swans a-swimming
Six geese a-laying
FIVE GOLDEN RINGS!
Four calling birds
Three French hens
Two turtle doves and
A partridge in a pear tree

{ Total:
12 drumming drummers
22 Piping Pipers
3o Leaping Lords
36 Dancing Ladies
4o Milking Maids
42 Swimming Swans
42 Geese layers
4o Rings
36 Calling birds
3o Hens (French)
22 Doved Turtles
12 Partridge (in pear tree) }

Vague JMMPOP Mission: Day 39 —[Christmas Eve]–

It’s full of stars! Wait, no… it’s VJM!

Today, faithful readers, is Christmas Eve. Tonight dear children, is the night that is one of the most likely to send you off on an adventure. It happened to Scrooge (and all the people in the movies after him pretending to be him), and probably other people too. Yes, it seems that when we set aside a day to prepare for another day, on the thin line between Eve and what it’s the Eve of; the narrow crack between days, that it’s very likely for one to eat an undercooked bit of potato and have your life, your actions laid out before you to be judged.

You know what? Never mind that.

Instead of rambling on about whatever that was going to go to, how about I write you a story, hmm? Now, I’m sort of coming up with this story on the spot (from a writing prompt I got earlier), so bear with me.

The story will start in the next line, so in case you don’t want to read it for some reason, you can stop reading here.

S.C. In The D.T.E.S

The day was Christmas Eve. The place? Santa’s Workshop. The- the real one, not the one in your local mall (although most of them are in fact officially sanctioned by the North Pole HQ). The Workshop was busy with little Elves doing last minute touches on all the toys for the little girls and boys. The last little bit of Love was being crammed into the teddy bears, the Little Susie Wets-A-Lots’ were getting, erm… topped off, and the iPods were being shrunk down to their retail size.

Elsewhere in the Greater North Pole County, the reindeer had woken up early to go over flight plans and formations and such. Being, you know, deer, flying would be (no matter how much they practiced) a very difficult thing to do. Although, they have had a pretty good track record so far so, you know, just saying.

Next we come to the kitchens. The ovens baking and the air smelling of peppermint steak, Mrs Claus and the Cooking Elves we preparing food for the big post-Christmas Dinner to celebrate a good toy making year and letting the Elves take a little break before making them go back to work. Now, to be clear, Mrs Claus was doing the cooking out of her own free will, and not out of some dated stereotypical gender roles. She was very clear on this point. She was in fact the person who convinced her husband to diversify into different types of toys so as to not get left in the dust by the more ‘corporate’ competitors.

Lastly, we come to Mr Claus. Mr Claus, or “Santa” as he is also known, was sitting in front of a large monitor. This machine should, going forward, ‘ladder up synergy to actualize goals and best utilize company assets to synergize the unification and productivity of the fact checking process on the Naughty/Nice List’. In short, it would give him time to check it more than twice. Mr Claus had actually received the device the previous year (on his birthday) and had just finished typing in the names of every child ever.

“And… Z-z-y-z-i-c Z-z-e-i-v-e-r-t-o-n. There. Done.” Santa wiped his brow. “Alright, you blasted machine… Go!”
Santa stood patiently for a moment.

“…Activate!”

The computer did nothing.

Santa reached over and pressed a couple buttons on the keyboard and took a sip of his peppermint tea. Nothing happened. Santa frowned. He gestured to an elf that was standing nearby.

“Carl, could you come here for a moment? I need help with this machine again.”
“What seems to be the problem, Santa?”
“Well, I- I just finished typing in all the names, and then I pushed a couple buttons. What do I do next?”

The elf walked over to the monitor and pointed at the screen. “Alright, to check for kids that are Nice, you press this button here, but it’s gonna take a while. You… you checked the list manually already right? Yes, okay. You can also press this button over here to check the list for kids that have been Naughty; it’s a different query, so you’ll have to do it separately. Another thing you can do is click this button over here, which it looks like you just did. It’ll randomly show you places on Earth. Can’t imagine why that’d be a feature. I guess you could use it as a screen saver? A memory game, maybe?”
“Ho ho ho. That sounds fun! Let’s see what we have here…”
Santa leaned towards the computer and, using his Santa Magic, began naming off the names in the picture as well as their Christmas present.

The first picture showed a city skyline on the water with a enormous white ferris wheel. People were walking to and fro.
“Ah, good ole London town! Let’s see here… Stacy Macdonell age 12, an iPod… Jeff Dougal 9, a big bucket of Star Wars Lego… Jenny Bishop age 72, a box of Fancy dark Chocolates… Larry Knite age 16, a… a bottle of vodka? Hmm, let’s just change that to “Coal”… there we go. Ho ho, this is fun! Next slide!”

And so he continued, moving from place to place, naming each of the people and their presents. From Amsterdam to Zimbabwe to Hong Kong to Anchorage without a single mistake and his rosy cheeks pulled back in a smile.

“Zac Kincaid age 8, the P3QXR UltraSoak Water Gun… Lily Schaffer age 10, a Silly Stacy Speaks-A-Lot doll… John Sticaggio age 15, a Three Wolf Moon t-shirt… Katie Smith age 12, a pair of those, you know, what are they called, those… those… those shoes with wheels in them! Ha ha, look at this old man go. I’ve still got it! Another slide!”
“Umm, Santa, it’s almost time to board the sleigh. Maybe we should…”
“Oh, we’ve got time. Come on, I’m on a roll here! Three thousand nine hundred and seventy two out of three thousand nine hundred and seventy two! Next slide.”

Carl smiled and pressed the button for the next picture. The room suddenly got very quiet.

The picture showed a city, like many it had shown before, only in addition to street lights lining the streets, there were the homeless. It was the Downtown East Side of Vancouver, B.C. People lying on the streets, people sitting in doorways to keep out of the rain, people wearing coats and cardboard and newspapers to try and keep warm. Santa just stood for a moment. He pointed at a dirty faced man holding a syringe.

“That… that’s Little Billy Swenton. When he was 10, he wanted a toy train. When he was 11, he wanted new clothes. When he was 12, he wanted… He wanted a door that would lock. Now he wants… Let’s see… Bill Swenton age 34, wants… food.”

Santa looked at Carl for a moment. The elf was leaning against a stack of books with a sad look on his face. Santa looked back at the screen.

“Becky Heinz age 28, Shelter… Robert Lawrence age 30, Safety… Jane Coulton age 45, Compassion… Matthew Davies age 19, Love… Lisa Drumlin age 35… Eye Contact… Warmth, comfort, help, a soft bed, family, kindness, charity. Oh my… ”

Mr Claus and the elf stood silently for a few minutes, tears welling up in their eyes.

“No houses,” Santa said quietly.
“I’m sorry, sir. I don’t…”
“No houses, no address. No addresses, no… they didn’t… they don’t show up on the… they’re not Listed.”

They looked sadly at the picture on the monitor.

DING! HO HO HO! DING!

Carl cleared his throat. “Well, sir, there’s… there’s the signal. Time to start the boarding procedures.”

Santa quietly turned off the monitor. “Carl,” he said as he walked to the door. “Call ahead to the Workshop. Tell them to get the Extra Large Sack ready. We’ll be making a few extra stops.”

___
Tomorrow’s Topic:
Day 4o

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Eleven pipers piping
Ten lords a-leaping
Nine ladies dancing
Eight maids a-milkin’
Seven swans a-swimming
Six geese a-laying
FIVE GOLDEN RINGS!
Four calling birds
Three French hens
Two turtle doves and
A partridge in a pear tree

{ Total:
11 Piping Pipers
2o Leaping Lords
27 Dancing Ladies
32 Milking Maids
35 Swimming Swans
36 Geese layers
35 Rings
32 Calling birds
27 Hens (French)
2o Doved Turtles
11 Partridge (in pear tree) }

Vague JMMPOP Mission: Day 38 —[Man in White]–

Recording eighteen hours of static, it’s VJM!

Faithful readers, recently I was able to catch the 1997 movie Titanic airing on one of the stations. Yes, this record breaking, semi-historical disaster epic has been reduced to television syndication. Anyway, I watched it; because, well, being six at the time, my memories of it were mostly a blur. I was slightly disappointed that the car scene and the painting scene were much more tame than I thought they’d be.

But what I want to talk about is not Rose (slowly realizing that it’s a more common name than I thought) or Jack. Or even the boat itself, really. What I want to talk about is the man in white.

I first noticed the man when he helped Rose to her feet near the end of the movie. She and Jack had just jumped over the railing down to a lower part of the deck. Upon landing, she tripped. Out of nowhere, up walks a man with dark hair and white clothes. He helps her up and says something along the lines of “Let me help you miss,” and then rushes back into the crowd. I mention this man because, not only were his clothes all white (instead of a tuxedo that most the other passengers wore), but because he shows up again. He is a recognizable figure during the whole *spoiler* sinking *spoiler* because of his unique and one coloured clothing.

The man shows up in the background when Rose and Jack rush to the end of the boat; he is in the back, off to the side, pushing through the crowd along with them. He reaches the back railing just after Jack and Rose, and to hang onto the boat easier (it was *spoiler* sinking *spoiler* and sticking out of the water at about a 45 degree angle), he hops onto the other side, on top of the railing. He then takes out his flask of liquor and takes a sip, all while the main part of the movie (Jack and Rose) are three feet away. Because of his white clothes, he is easily spotted in distant wide shots of the boat. Shortly before the ship *spoiler* sinks completely *spoiler* the man is seen helping another man up onto the railing. The man in white is last seen standing, and bracing himself as the last of the ship *spoiler* sinks *spoiler*.

You gotta love it when film-makers stick to unnecessary continuity.

___
Tomorrow’s Topic:
Christmas Eve

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Ten lords a-leaping
Nine ladies dancing
Eight maids a-milkin’
Seven swans a-swimming
Six geese a-laying
FIVE GOLDEN RINGS!
Four calling birds
Three French hens
Two turtle doves and
A partridge in a pear tree

{ Total:
1o Leaping Lords
18 Dancing Ladies
24 Milking Maids
28 Swimming Swans
3o Geese layers
3o Rings
28 Calling birds
24 Hens (French)
18 Doved Turtles
1o Partridge (in pear tree) }

Vague JMMPOP Mission: Day 37 —[Christmas List]–

Floating through space dressed up like Weird Al, it’s VJM!

Faithful readers, recently I’ve had some people ask what I wanted for Christmas. So, I thought what better time to put up my Christmas wish list than two days before Christmas Eve. In (more or less) some kind of order it goes:

1o) Zorro’s Sword
Who wouldn’t want Zorro’s sword? It can carve the “Z” into solid stone, yet can do the same to clothing without cutting the skin. That’s some kind of magic!

o9) Portable Hole
I’m sure you’ve seen these before. Bugs Bunny reaches into his pocket, pulls out a hole, throws it against a flat surface, jumps through and safely appear somewhere else. I want this just for the ability to pull holes out of m pocket

o8) The Key from The Lost Room
Near-instant teleportatuon to anywhere where I can picture the door? An impenetrable secret room that I can go into at any time? You’ve read my post about the show, right?

o7) Bus from The Magic School Bus
Like having a magical living bus, as a pet. Need I say more?

o6) Mindwipe Device from M.I.B. (with special sunglasses)
In the movie Men in Black, the main charactors carry around a small, silver, tubular device which, if you turned it on, would create a flash of red light that wipes the memories of whoever sees it. The special shades they wear seem to block the effect. For those times I accidentally say something stupid.

o5) Sonic screwdriver
Come on, the coolest Swiss Army Knife / Skeleton Key ever? Who wouldn’t want this?

o4) Psychic paper
Basically a really fancy fake I.D. Really though, I’d even settle for the type of flip-open wallet it’s carried around in.

o3) Portal Gun
Like portable holes, but colour coded. And it has a longer range than just throwing one.

o2) Invisibility Cloak
I’d… rather not say what I’d use this for. Umm, let’s go with ‘fighting crime’ for now. Yeah. If I had an invisibility cloak I’d totally… umm, fight crime with it. Honestly.

o1) The Raygun from The Tick
Now, this is not just any raygun. Since The Raygun is from a city populated by superheroes and supervillains not super enough or evil enough to be helpful or dangerous (respectively), this Raygun works a little bit differently. If it’s shot at a person, it turns that person into “some guy named Ray.” There was also mention of a Tommy Gun…

So, faithful readers, get shopping! If you look hard enough, you might find the perfect gift for that special someone (ie me).

___
Tomorrow’s Topic:
Man in White

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Nine ladies dancing
Eight maids a-milkin’
Seven swans a-swimming
Six geese a-laying
FIVE GOLDEN RINGS!
Four calling birds
Three French hens
Two turtle doves and
A partridge in a pear tree

{ Total:
9 Dancing Ladies
16 Milking Maids
21 Swimming Swans
24 Geese layers
25 Rings
24 Calling birds
21 Hens (French)
16 Doved Turtles
9 Partridge (in pear tree) }

Vague JMMPOP Mission: Day 36 —[A Gift of Gold]–

Dangerously waving around a stick of dynamite, it’s VJM!

Faithful readers, out there on the Internet somewhere is an animated short, titled “A Gift Of Gold”. It’s about eight minutes long, and follows the life of some wrapping paper after being purchased. It was one of the short segments of the cartoon Animaniacs, and therefore is pretty good.

If you can find it, watch it.

___
Tomorrow’s Topic:
Christmas List

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Eight maids a-milkin’
Seven swans a-swimming
Six geese a-laying
FIVE GOLDEN RINGS!
Four calling birds
Three French hens
Two turtle doves and
A partridge in a pear tree

{ Total:
8 Milking Maids
14 Swimming Swans
18 Geese layers
2o Rings
2o Calling birds
18 Hens (French)
14 Doved Turtles
8 Partridge (in pear tree) }

Vague JMMPOP Mission: Day 35 —[A Christmas Story]–

From the smoke monster’s secret cave (which is Egyptian for some reason), it’s VJM!

Faithful readers, a few Christmases ago, my family and I spent the season in San Jose California with some family friends.

When Christmas proper rolled arround, we all hopped into a car (well, two cars actualy), and drove to the house of their relative(s), as was their Christmas tradition.

After spending some time hanging with the kids my age, everyone was called together into the main living room. Looking back, there were like, twenty people sitting comfortably in a circle, so I’m thinking the room was pretty big.

In the circle, everyone was holding a wrapped present. The game as I remember it was that when it was your turn, you would pick someone else in the circle and swap with them. This would continue around the circle (a couple times maybe), and when everything was done, the presents would be opened. One of the the presents that a relative opened was a framed picture of wrestler Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. I’m guessing this was also some kind of tradition. Or at least a running joke.

Afterwards was the regular gift exchange. When the younger son of the family we were staying with recieved his present from his parents, he had a specific thing in mind. You see, what he wanted for Christmas was the Mario Kart Double Dash videogame for the game cube, which had just been released.

When their family was walking through the mall a few weeks before, he made his parents aware of this. The dad responded with “How about we just get you this?” and pointed.

At the time, they were passing through the clothing racks of Wal-Mart (or something). The thing the dad was pointing at was a ringed t-shirt, which was horizontally striped with rainbows.

The kid basically responded with “Ha ha. Seriously, I want the game.”

So, jumping back to the Christmas party, the kid is sitting on the floor with the present in front of him. He quickly tears open the wrapping.

His face visibly falls when he opens the box and sees the rainbow shirt, neatly folded in the box. Everyone bursts out laughing.

Pushing the box to the side, he reaches for another present. Before he can however, the dad tells him to try the shirt on. The kid is resistant at first, but in the end he complies.

When he lifts the shirt out of the box, something falls out from inside it. It’s the game! He starts smiling and jumping and shouting. We kids all rush upstairs to play it.

Now, I’m sure there’s a lesson in this somewhere. Something about getting a gift you don’t want, and there being something you really DO want inside it, but hey, it’s the Christmas Break. I’ve turned my brain off long ago.

I’d end off by saying Merry Christmas, but I’m holding off until closer to the actual date. Instead, I’ll just let this paragraph peter out and, like, I don’t know… end with the word “yeah”, or something… yeah.

___
Tomorrow’s Topic:
Gift of Gold

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Seven swans a-swimming
Six geese a-laying
FIVE GOLDEN RINGS!
Four calling birds
Three French hens
Two turtle doves and
A partridge in a pear tree

{ Total:
7 Swimming Swans
12 Geese layers
15 Rings
16 Calling birds
15 Hens (French)
12 Doved Turtles
7 Partridge (in pear tree) }

Vague JMMPOP Mission: Day 33 —[Why I Listen To Music]–

From inside a scale replica of The Bat Cave made of nerf, it’s VJM!

Faithful readers, you may be wondering why I listen to so much music. Unless I’m talking to someone, I’ll usually have an earbud or two hanging off my head. Well, aside from the usual ‘music sounds nice’ and such, I listen to music so that I can tune out the world.

I listen to music so I don’t have to listen to my family yelling at each other, or the guy talking to his buddy on the bus and ‘bragging’ about his girlfriend, or the whooshing of cars outside my window, or the two girls talking really loudly on the Canada Line about cheating on her boyfriend.

This might also explain why the a lot of my songs have titles along the lines of “It’s a Good Day” and “All I Want is You”. Interestingly, there are also several songs about good parents such as “Watching Scotty Grow” and the “JCB Song”.

Yeah, this post isn’t as deep as the other ones, it turns out. Funny, I thought I’d have more to write…
Anyway…

___
Tomorrow’s Topic:
Blue Marble Story #1

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
FIVE GOLDEN RINGS!
Four calling birds
Three French hens
Two turtle doves and
A partridge in a pear tree

{ Total:
5 Rings
8 Calling birds
9 Hens (French)
8 Doved Turtles
5 Partridge (in pear tree) }

Vague JMMPOP Mission: Day 34 —[Blue Marble Story #1]–

From the lost city of Atlantis (also made of nerf), it’s VJM!

Today, faithful readers, I will tell you the story of one of the times I tried to ask out the girl I like. And it will begin… right… now.

It was near the end of senior year. So near in fact, that we were rehearsing for the grad ceromony. Everyone had filed into the gym and sat in the chairs that represented the chairs they would be sitting in when they were wearing the gowns and grad caps. Since the year was ending soon, I was running out of time to ask her out, but this made the perfect time to try it; everyone in the same room and at the end of the day.

But there was a minor problem. Since we were sitting alphabeticaly by last name, I was near the middle. She was near the end. The end was nearer to the door. And since she had the tendancy to vanish really quickly, I knew I would have to be clever about doing stuff so as to not miss her.

So the practice went along as scheduled and as it neared the end, I was figuring out my plan of action. But, things were made a lot easier when the teacher with the microphone told everyone to put the chairs (they were folding chairs) back into the rotunda (big round room just inside the school). This was perfect. So, when it was over, I quickly folded my chair and grabbed my backpack from the side bleachers and walked towards the door. But, everyone was using these doors too, and the girl was a few people ahead of me. Looking around, I saw another door which wasn’t being used. I quickly went through it, bypassing the long line at the first door, and made my way into the school. I put my folded chair on the little dolly they had, just as the rest of the crowd washed over me. I stood patiently and looked around the crowd.

From my spot in the middle of the crowd I saw her go around the outside and put her chair on the stack. I tried to make my way to her, but the crowd was too thick and the chairs were too pointy. I sighed and made my peace. I guess today just wasn’t going to be the day.

I managed to break out of the crowd a few seconds later. I looked around and saw her leaning on the railing (between the stairs and the wheel-chair ramp) leading into the rotunda. I walked over to her. When she saw me she gave me a small smile.

Now, the previous times I had asked her, she had been scheduled to work. Being the last couple weeks of school, I was hoping that maybe she had a week off or something. The chances of that, however, were low.

So in a tired, almost-giving-up voice I asked her.

“Would you be interested in going to my youth group on Friday?”
“Sorry, I can’t. I have friends coming in from out of town and I don’t get to see them very often.”

I sighed quietly. I had expected as much. In a very skeptical and dissapointed way, I asked her.

“… really?”
“Yeah, sorry I can’t.”
“From eight to ten?”
“Sorry.”

I sighed again and quickly put my happy face back on. You know the one.

“Alright. See you around!” I said.

And with a smile and a wave, I walked home by myself.

___
Tomorrow’s Topic:
A Christmas Story

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Six geese a-laying
FIVE GOLDEN RINGS!
Four calling birds
Three French hens
Two turtle doves and
A partridge in a pear tree

{ Total:
6 Geese layers
1o Rings
12 Calling birds
12 Hens (French)
1o Doved Turtles
6 Partridge (in pear tree) }

Vague JMMPOP Mission: Day 32 —[My Music]–

From the Fortress of Solitude, it’s VJM!

Faithful readers, you’ve all heard my music. You know my music. During my tenure as defacto jukebox, I had provided hundreds of songs for such events as gym night, the VBS set up, and the parent appreciation night (the good one, not the one last year). But do you know why I picked the songs that do? Do you know why some nights I’d play “Jailhouse Rock” while other times I’d blast “Marry Did You Know”?

The songs I chose were chosen for agreeing with two requirements. Yes, two requrements, both equally important, which I will talk about in the next paragraph. The next paragraph which will be starting… now.

The first thing I checked for was the beat. Did the tone and rhythm match what was required for the event? Fast high energy songs for gym nights, and mostly instrumental jazzy oldies for Parent Night. But the song needed more than a hint of, say, a high BPM. It needed to be consistent. If a song I was looking at for gym night was really fast for the first 3/4ths but gets cut in half by the end, then it would not work for me. What if that popped up in the middle of a tense dodgeball game? It would kill the mood. I would also sometimes play songs for pure irony. Like for example, imagine an intense dodgeball game. Both teams are half gone, leaving only the better players out on the field. One of the players pulls back their arm to throw the ball in their hand when suddenly “Ave Maria” starts playing in the background. Coolness factor just went up by a hundred. This actually happened once when two of the kids were sumo wrestling after a gym night and I started playing “Chariots of Fire”. Epic.

The second thing I look at is whether or not the song will go over well in the building (ie the church). There have been dozens of songs, that the group might have liked, but might warrant a few looks from some of the older folk. Because, since there weren’t any ‘official’ rules, the This-is-okay-to-play list was much more flexible than if official rules had been laid down. Sort of a “I’m policing myself, because the actual police would be stricter.” For example, I have a very fast paced high energy song that would almost be perfect for gym nights, but I’ve never lined it up because it’s about zombies. And a rock song about zombies won’t fly well in a church, I don’t think.

Because of these two reasons (mostly the second one), I can’t just “Plug it in and set it to shuffle,” as certain people have suggested. Because of these two reasons I would spend an hour, sometimes more, meticulously picking through my music collection and crafting a playlist that would be specifically middle of the road. Carefully picking songs that the kids will like enough not to revolt, but also low key enough that the officials won’t pull the plug. Because one wrong song, one wrong lyric, and everyone would be playing dodgeball in silence.

And when I think I’ve got a good set, I go over it again. Listening to each individual song, making sure there wasn’t anything I missed in the lyrics, taking off ones that don’t ‘feel’ right. I’ll go through about six or seven drafts before settling on a line up that I think everone would be comfortable with.

Then I pack up my stuff, head over to th church, plug into whichever speakers are going to be used that night, and do some more last minute removals. Even after the songs have started, I’ll still run over and make some last minute edits to the line up now that I can feel the environment and the mood of the audience.

I do all that, and then I hear someone complain about how annoying and crappy my music is. They’re not saying it to me though, not at first. They don’t even know who I am.
‘This song is boring!’
‘This sounds like something my grandma would listen to!’
‘Change the song!’
‘What IS this?’

Now, don’t get me wrong, there have been one or two instances of people telling me they like the music. That in all the careful selecting I did, I happened to get one right. It’s not much, but it’s enough.

___
Tomorrow’s Topic:
Why I Listen To Music

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Four calling birds
Three French hens
Two turtle doves and
A partridge in a pear tree

{ Total:
4 Calling birds
6 Hens (French)
6 Doved Turtles
4 Partridge (in pear tree) }